Why being a “torpe” will never work
Unless you have the looks and popularity of Brad Pitt, the body of a Greek god and the richness of Bill Gates – you will never find a date if you’re a shy guy especially in the not-so-liberated Philippines.
But first things first, what’s a “torpe” anyway? For the guys out there who didn’t grow up in the Philippines, “torpe” is the term used to describe a guy, who is so in love with a girl but is too shy to admit his feelings for her. So why will it not work? Here are the major reasons why:
1. Women don’t make the first move
You could wish all you want that she’d be the one to make the first move but this is unlikely to happen especially in the Philippines where girls who make the first move are branded as flirty. That’s a fact!
2. Women don’t know what’s in your mind
I used to have a female friend who likes this guy. Now this guy is also my friend and I know that he likes her too. What’s the problem? Well he’s “torpe” and couldn’t even look at the girl straight in the eye. And guess what? Nothing happened between the two of them.
3. Women hate mind games
That’s right. Women also hate mind games the way we do. They hate guessing how you feel for her in the same way that we hate guessing what she feels. You can give all the hints that you like her (e.g. touching her hand, saying sweet compliments) but this will be of no use unless you tell her exactly how you really feel.
To prove this, I’ve read somewhere over the Internet that lots of women are searching Google for the phrase “How to tell if a guy likes you”. Well wouldn’t you feel terrible if the girl you like is the one searching Google for that? Remember: it’s only you who could give her the answer so better tell her how you feel before she loses interest in you.
4. Women want confidence, not shyness
Do you ever wonder why it’s a common notion that women like bad boys? It’s because bad boys have the confidence to admit their feelings towards women without fear of being rejected or so. After all, confidence is all that it really takes. If you get rejected, get over it and move forward.
I remember MYMP’s “Torpe Song #5″. It’s really a great song that describes what a torpe guy is really like. It gives the torpe guys the ego-booster needed. Check out the lyrics here.
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as the saying goes No Guts!No Glory.!^^
AMEN to that!
wala talagang mangyayari kung walang gagawin, even if you are super popular, has a nice body and very good looking. take for instance piolo pascual.
when i like somebody, i make body contact
it’s easy to gain confidence, just be yourself. it depends to where you’re good at, sports, travel, games, studying, party, and the likes!
hindi sa pagmamayabang pero, i don’t have a problem with this, i have this suplado attitude that some people adore and my charisma is high hehehehe
shoulda, woulda, coulda ang aabutin mo kung to-torpe torpe ka.
hey chris what’s up??? chinese new year na! nasan ka na??? hehehe…
@boris/everyone – I’m back. I’ve not been around the past few days because I got a little busy.:)
Well, im an exmple of this t0rpe guy.. Hmm, thanks for the tips, i h0pe i can apply it..
I actually hate you for being insightful, coz sometimes you write things that are so true it hurts my eyes to read them ha ha ha but, really, it’s like facing yourself in the mirror, reading you. Like,you knew it all along yourself but you get giddy admitting that it is what it is.
Ramillav – The first part of your comment shocked me because I thought you really hated me. Haha.
Thanks for finding the article to be insightful
Ha ha ha. Hmm… I like to shock people before complimenting them, it sort of throws them off, otherwise they get their head expands like the universe in a big bang. Hmm. I followed your recommendations on Oxygen Static. they have this scent 11:55 which my female companion said was more fragrant…
Yes, if you want inexpensive scents, Oxygen has one of the best.
@Angelo/all, Hey this a great site, great article Chris. Been searching the term torpe and found your site. Still confused why women comments
me on that but I believe, they just want to make papansin.
All through out my younger years. Lots of girls (many I even don’t know,especially during college years) made parinig this to me. Though sometimes even now, some still comments this.
@Chris, yes its true that generally Women don’t make the first move, but some do, some even dropping physical hints(make parining, touch you etc.)But its just me, I had been weak/complete ignoring them before but now I had aged a bit, i’m now more sensitive of these hints. Ü. hehehe.
McC – thanks for the compliment.
Hmm, I think you should stop ignoring them. They’ve given you hints so I guess it’s time for you to make your move.
[...] Why being a “torpe” will never work – I remember I wrote this before Valentine’s day this year. It’s an enlightening [...]
Women are pathetic! If gagawa ka ng tama then ikaw ang mali. I dunno pero I don’t understand them.. Mas gusto pa ng manyak kaysa sa matino. #4 sounds right pero wooaaahhh bakit ganun?!
Manyak kaysa matalino? Omg, that’s not true >.< matalino mas mabuti.
tsk. Ang mganda jan, torpe pero na overcome yun. Kasi minsan, kung masyadong confident ang lalaki and he seems that he has no shyness inside him, iisipin nila babaero yun.
Great post. This really gives me a insight.
UGH. This reminds me of that guy whom I fell in love with. Torpe na nga, manhid padin! >:{T
it’s true. being a torpe doesn’t work.
but i think that if a girl likes a guy, she should tell her feelings too. it isn’t only the guy that loses out; both of them lose out.
to achieve that, we might have to change our preconceptions about women making the first move.
being torpe is so bullshit!!!!!!!
Nakakahiya mang aminin pero pagdating sa ligawan tlgang mahina ako. ive been famous for this in our campus before. Di ako gwapo di rin pangit, decent and neat look lang ako. at dahil torpe ako binabawi ko na lang umeksena sa ibang aspects like excelling in class on academics, top varsity player, and a good musician especially on vocals and accoustic instruments. If may natipuhan akong girl, paimpress lng ko to the max like asking her if she needs help in our assignments in math and physics (my favorite) or di kaya gawan ng song at kantahan to inspire her. but telling them about the feelings i had inside, naku yan ang di ko kayang gawin heheehh! TORPE kasi.
Swerte pa rin ko kahit papano, kasi napasagot ko pa rin ang limang GFs ko ng walang ligawang naganap. Di un sabay2 ha, one at a time lang. With my current relationship now, mag 6 years na kami this september.
kung ma reject ako ng gusto kong girl, feeling ko masisira ang mundo ko. nakkahiya mang aminin isa akong dakilang torpe
nakakarelate…torpe haha…ok..will have this printed as a pocket guide..lol
Women are easy, they always want to be loved. Haha!
mg-23 yrs old na ako, wala p rin akng naging GF since birth..isa rin akong torpe..ewan ko bah, talagang takot lng akong ma-reject..hindi nmn ako pangit, im neat looking, i smell good, i dress up well, masaya kausap, at mabait..
ouch… is it me who you are talking about.. I agree with all you have said and probably same thing with me. I’m afraid to be rejected, hays I hope maovercome ko ung fear ko na ito para magkaGF na ako.
nice =)..i was lookin for a men’s fashion website && got in here…ok let me share some info. women used to be just as easy as ABCs when i was in college..i had a good share of experience when it comes to dating et al campus figures..but lately i noticed without noticing it, parang i became a torpe sort of hahah..oh btw i dont court, un bang pakiramdaman lang, uhmm if u like me && i like u then so be it. let’s work for it out..ung mga ganun…
now i met this gal, she’s nice pero parang di ko masabi na gusto ko sya..para kasing naunahan ng frienship lang un purpose…hehehe…i hope maovercome ko to..i miss the one i used to be during college…
nice article though…great reminder
I really don’t know why there are guys are so torpe,
I experience one of my suitor super torpe,if I will
not start to talk,he will not start to talk also….
So unpredictable……
Joyce
——–
OnePacificPlace.com.ph-Salcedo Village
Condominium at the heart of Makati CBD
no nuts no glory ftw! it only takes big balls to hook up with a woman.
ganon talaga, hate ng babae ang torpe, ako super torpe before pero naulanan lang ako minsan nawala, if I like a girl, I simply approach her and introduce myself, after.. i’ll ask for her number then I phone her. sa kinabukasan girlfriend ko na. gnun lang ka simple. so, torpe guys, wake up! sisid agad sa malalim na balon.!
hehehe…salamat mga master.
hay sana, maaus ko yung pagiging torpe ko, hehe,
ntatakot lng sigurong ako na di siryosohen.
[...] did a search on the Filipino term “Torpe” and came up with these: According to Pinoy Guy Guide: “torpe” is the term used to describe a guy, who is so in love with a girl but is too shy to [...]
I totally agree on the last rationale, that confidence is more attractive that shyness. As for other reasons, not so much. Girls are more socially aware, kaya may insight sila on what’s in your mind, you just have to confirm it. And like what you said, Pinas is not that conserved anymore, even the girls are liberated, so it is quite possible na sila ang gumawa ng first move.
Di natin pwede igeneralize. I know a lot of torpe guys who ended up with the girls they wanted. Kahit nga kmi nagulat eh. i think it is more on kung kaya mo dalhin yun pagiging torpe. Kung nagagamit mo un pgkatorpe to be charming and adorable, awesome yun. May mga guys na ganun eh. Pero kung di bagay sayo yun pagiging torpe mo at low self-esteem lng talaga npapakita nito, then yeah, it will not work.
I’M A GIRL IN LOVE WITH A TORPe guy. You have no idea. I know that this sites are for guys only, but can you possibly write something that could help me in terms of getting to know him through that massive amount of shyness of his? I know he likes me. He imitates me endless, he pops everywhere I go, and I even catch him staring and he’d quickly look away. I love him. I know all of these are sweet, but there would be some discouraging days where he won’t acknowledge my existence at all. I’m a shy girl myself, but this is still so frustrating!
@Sick of Torpedos
Then you have to make the First move, That is what torpe guys are waiting for, not unless you are a torpe girl yourself, yes torpe exist on girls as well.
Here is a tip for Torpe:
Like a torpe, it took me to be 33 years old to have my first gf.
Tama walang mangyayari sa torpe, ok lang yan dahil the more ka nag dudusa sa kalungkutan at kahinaan ng loob the more ka tumatapang, kung hindi mo kaya mag confess ng nararamdaman mo e di mag dusa ka hintay ka ulit ilang taon, bumalik ka nalang sa hide out mong comfort zone at mas tumatanda ka masnagiging mahirap tiisin ang emotion.
Ang gawin mo, pag nag pakita ng motibo ang babae, idaan mo sa sulat, isulat mo lahat ng gusto mo sabihin at ibigay sa kanya ng deretsa sabay takbo ka na paalis, at hintayin mo ang reply niya via txt, sulat din o salita, pag ok, tapos na hindi ka na torpe mawawala na yun.