Men's Lifestyle > Dating Women and Relationships

High Maintenance Girlfriend

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mark23:
Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.

ash:
Brooo, pag usapan nyo. Mag open ka sa kanya kung ano na yung nararamdaman mo sa mga ganyan situation with her.

mark23:

--- Quote from: ash on July 15, 2020, 01:20:54 AM ---Brooo, pag usapan nyo. Mag open ka sa kanya kung ano na yung nararamdaman mo sa mga ganyan situation with her.

--- End quote ---

Thank you bro. Nag away kame recently. Minsan, napupuno Lang ako minsan to the point that I broke down and told her about these things, mga luho nia and those things that I have done for her. Sobrang frustrating talaga kasi lahat naman ginawa ko for her and to have what she deserves to be happy. I even told her that I give more to her than to myself kasi mahal na mahal ko xa. Just to explain further, Hindi one sided love ung meron kami at ipinaparamdam din nia ung love at pag aalaga saken pag pagod ako after work at  pag magkasama kme. Sobrang naging exaggerated ako sa mga wordings ko which made her to feel bad and I just wanted to break up with her nung nag away kme. Alam ko ang babae moody yan kaya mabilis magalit at dapat iniintindi. Nagalit Lang talaga ako kasi mejo nakakapagsalita na xa saken ng below the belt na mga salita but I know those are just her way of letting her anger out instead of keeping it inside her. She even started to realize na ayaw nia ako mawala. It is not about the money, luho or whatsoever pero naisip na sobrang  naging bait kong boyfriend, matiisin at higit sa lahat faithful sa kanya. Kahit na minsan wala xang tiwala saken lalo na sa social media feeling nia kasi i still chat with girls i dated before. Nagsorry naman xa sakin at ako din nagsorry din ako sa mga nabitawan kong salita. I told her that I love her so much and explained to her about our plans together at ung mga dapat i-prioritize. Today is our 17th Monthsary, I cant really wait on a new job offer I’m looking forward. I can definitely earn more than what I earn now. Makakapagplano na din ng maayos, makakapag ipon at gusto ko na din makasama xa sa habang panahon.

I guess kahit na mahilig siya sa mga bagay bagay na magaganda, branded or something na Hindi nia nakukuha before, I think she deserves those kasi mahal Ko siya at lahat yun ibibigay ko sa abot ng aking makakaya.  Sarap Lang din sa feeling pag nakikita mo ung mahal mo na masaya dun mga bagay na naibigay mong gustong gusto nia :) Parang bata Lang na excited mag bukas ng balot  ng laruan.

ash:

--- Quote from: mark23 on July 16, 2020, 04:55:44 AM ---
--- Quote from: ash on July 15, 2020, 01:20:54 AM ---Brooo, pag usapan nyo. Mag open ka sa kanya kung ano na yung nararamdaman mo sa mga ganyan situation with her.

--- End quote ---

Thank you bro. Nag away kame recently. Minsan, napupuno Lang ako minsan to the point that I broke down and told her about these things, mga luho nia and those things that I have done for her. Sobrang frustrating talaga kasi lahat naman ginawa ko for her and to have what she deserves to be happy. I even told her that I give more to her than to myself kasi mahal na mahal ko xa. Just to explain further, Hindi one sided love ung meron kami at ipinaparamdam din nia ung love at pag aalaga saken pag pagod ako after work at  pag magkasama kme. Sobrang naging exaggerated ako sa mga wordings ko which made her to feel bad and I just wanted to break up with her nung nag away kme. Alam ko ang babae moody yan kaya mabilis magalit at dapat iniintindi. Nagalit Lang talaga ako kasi mejo nakakapagsalita na xa saken ng below the belt na mga salita but I know those are just her way of letting her anger out instead of keeping it inside her. She even started to realize na ayaw nia ako mawala. It is not about the money, luho or whatsoever pero naisip na sobrang  naging bait kong boyfriend, matiisin at higit sa lahat faithful sa kanya. Kahit na minsan wala xang tiwala saken lalo na sa social media feeling nia kasi i still chat with girls i dated before. Nagsorry naman xa sakin at ako din nagsorry din ako sa mga nabitawan kong salita. I told her that I love her so much and explained to her about our plans together at ung mga dapat i-prioritize. Today is our 17th Monthsary, I cant really wait on a new job offer I’m looking forward. I can definitely earn more than what I earn now. Makakapagplano na din ng maayos, makakapag ipon at gusto ko na din makasama xa sa habang panahon.

I guess kahit na mahilig siya sa mga bagay bagay na magaganda, branded or something na Hindi nia nakukuha before, I think she deserves those kasi mahal Ko siya at lahat yun ibibigay ko sa abot ng aking makakaya.  Sarap Lang din sa feeling pag nakikita mo ung mahal mo na masaya dun mga bagay na naibigay mong gustong gusto nia :) Parang bata Lang na excited mag bukas ng balot  ng laruan.

--- End quote ---

Happy Monthsary! ❤❤❤ stay strong sa inyo bro! Wala talagang perpektong relasyon. Maraming pagsubok ang dadating pero lahat yan malalampasan basta nagmamahalan at nagkakaintindihan. 😊😊😊

Chris:

--- Quote from: mark23 on July 14, 2020, 11:23:16 PM ---Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.

--- End quote ---

welcome back, after 7 years! Good to see you.

As I see it, hindi naman gold-digger yung girlfriend mo. She seems nice. Pero ang masasabi ko lang sir, is kapag di kayo magkasundo sa finances ngayon pa lang, magiging malaking away sya pag nag-asawa na kayo. And hindi magandang pag-awayan ang pera ng mag-asawa.

So habang maaga pa, try to iron out the details, bago ka magpropose at magpakasal.

You need to communicate to her kung ano yung problem and issue mo sa kanya. Did you try to be completely honest with her?

Yung trip sa Europe for example, did she ask for it? Or did you just do it? Regardless, dapat bago yung trip nilinaw mo kung pano kayo mag split ng expenses.

Pwede mong iexplain na kailangan mo magtipid para sa future nyo, para di sya magexpect a lot from you financially. Kasi nag iipon ka para sa future ninyong dalawa. You can also casually bring up na magtry sya maghanap ng mas high-paying job, para sa future ng family nyo and kids.

Before you propose, make sure you iron out yang finances. Nagiging source yan ng away mag-asawa so as early as now, kailangan nyo maayos yan. Open communication is key.

Hope this helps. Good luck and keep us posted!

Chris

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