Men's Lifestyle > Dating Women and Relationships

High Maintenance Girlfriend

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mark23:

--- Quote from: ChefDoc on July 25, 2020, 10:20:59 AM ---
--- Quote from: mark23 on July 14, 2020, 11:23:16 PM ---Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.

--- End quote ---

Well, first and foremost, ang swerte ng girlfriend mo sayo. Bihira ang ganyang guy e. Well at some point din sa life ko, I experienced the same.

Nasa nature na yan ng mga lalake na we're willing to give everything. Do everything. But between two parties, communication will always be the key.

Ilang years na ba kayo? The fact na gusto mo na mag propose, it means you both achieved the level of trust na mahirap ibuild up in a relationship plus, comfortable na kayo sa isat isa. In that sense, you can always open up sa kanya regarding that matter.

She can accept it naman if mature siya. Tell her na kelangan mag ipon, since ganito situation, kelangan di masyadong magasto. Lalo na if settle kayo soon. Kelangan may foundation ang finances nya or financial stability. Providing sa family nya and as breadwinner, yun muna priority niyo. Cut spending muna sa mga stuff and travel. But reward yourselves rin paminsan minsan.

Again, open up bro. It wont hurt. Kung ako sa lugar nya, mas naappreciate ko open up partner. Para di na tumagal yang cause ng away niyo. Have a good day

--- End quote ---

I can't say na siya ung swerte saken. Hirap magclaim na ganun. Siguru maswerte kme sa isa't isa. Tama ka bro, lahat naman tayo gusto naten ung best para mahal natin diba? Tama kayo proper communication lang talaga ang kailangan at wag sumabay sa galit kasi pareho kami sasabog.

Mag two years na din kme and plan ko na lumevel up kasi di na din kme pabata. Nasa edad na din kme magpakasal at bumuo ng pamilya. So far ngaun, we are trying to find ways to save money. Pinagbabaon ko na siya ng food sa work instead of ordering online or take aways, mas healthy na masarap pa. Hilig ko din kasi magluto at love nia lahat ng food na hinahanda ko para sa kanya.  I am moving next month near her place so I dont have to drive back and forth which is like Muntinlupa to SM North everyday (In comparison here in Dubai). Anyhow, mabilis lang naman travel dto kasi malalaki kasalda. Plus, as of now, I am working at home kaya I dont have to drive sa office namin. Siguru kung back to normal na lahat dito, then we can save money for transport kasi I can pick and drop her to work kasi on the way lang din naman sa work ko.

So sa mga ganung bagay siguru, we can start saving money. Plus, I want to save for the ring na rin  ;)

God bless u all

Chris:
^happy for you! Keep us posted. Honesty and transparency is key.

Bago kami ikasal ng wife ko back in 2016, we were transparent as to how much we earn, how much our expenses are, magkano binibigay sa parents (kung meron man) and all sorts and pano hatian sa expenses. Being completely open helped a lot so nagkakaintindihan kami.

I know it's a difficult conversation, pero you have to do it one way or the other kung magpapakasal kayo.

Need nyo pag-usapan yan, kasi for example, mag-uusap din kayo one way or the other kung pano gastos sa kasal? Pano hatian kung meron man. Ikaw ba magshoshoulder lahat or magshashare sya?

Also, it helps if mag-open kayo joint account. I have a friend who did this, kahit bf-gf pa lang sila, to see how they will do with their finances before even taking it to the next level.

Hope this helps!

angelo11:
Kami laging 50-50 ang gastos, pero kapag alam namin na short ung isa eh sya muna gumagastos. Saka diepende din kasi sa lifestyle nyo kung paano kayo gumastos, kailangan talaga is ung lifestyle nyo ang mag adjust dipende sa kung gaano kalaki ung sinasahod nyo hindi dapat ang sahod ang mag aadjust lalo na't hndi naman ganun kabilis mabigyan ng increase sa work.

Kailangan lang talaga is know your priorities at kailngan open kayo sa isa't isa about dun, kasi dun na mag sisimula din kung gaano lang ung dapat nyong gastusin sa mga luho nyo. saka pwede ding na every sahod nyo mag laan kayo ng pera na iniipon nya para kung sakaling meron kayong labas or bibilhin or even date. 2020 narin naman maiintindihan na yan ng partner mo, preparation narin kapag nag sama kayo..

ChefDoc:

--- Quote from: mark23 on July 29, 2020, 10:19:34 AM ---
--- Quote from: ChefDoc on July 25, 2020, 10:20:59 AM ---
--- Quote from: mark23 on July 14, 2020, 11:23:16 PM ---Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.

--- End quote ---

Well, first and foremost, ang swerte ng girlfriend mo sayo. Bihira ang ganyang guy e. Well at some point din sa life ko, I experienced the same.

Nasa nature na yan ng mga lalake na we're willing to give everything. Do everything. But between two parties, communication will always be the key.

Ilang years na ba kayo? The fact na gusto mo na mag propose, it means you both achieved the level of trust na mahirap ibuild up in a relationship plus, comfortable na kayo sa isat isa. In that sense, you can always open up sa kanya regarding that matter.

She can accept it naman if mature siya. Tell her na kelangan mag ipon, since ganito situation, kelangan di masyadong magasto. Lalo na if settle kayo soon. Kelangan may foundation ang finances nya or financial stability. Providing sa family nya and as breadwinner, yun muna priority niyo. Cut spending muna sa mga stuff and travel. But reward yourselves rin paminsan minsan.

Again, open up bro. It wont hurt. Kung ako sa lugar nya, mas naappreciate ko open up partner. Para di na tumagal yang cause ng away niyo. Have a good day

--- End quote ---

I can't say na siya ung swerte saken. Hirap magclaim na ganun. Siguru maswerte kme sa isa't isa. Tama ka bro, lahat naman tayo gusto naten ung best para mahal natin diba? Tama kayo proper communication lang talaga ang kailangan at wag sumabay sa galit kasi pareho kami sasabog.

Mag two years na din kme and plan ko na lumevel up kasi di na din kme pabata. Nasa edad na din kme magpakasal at bumuo ng pamilya. So far ngaun, we are trying to find ways to save money. Pinagbabaon ko na siya ng food sa work instead of ordering online or take aways, mas healthy na masarap pa. Hilig ko din kasi magluto at love nia lahat ng food na hinahanda ko para sa kanya.  I am moving next month near her place so I dont have to drive back and forth which is like Muntinlupa to SM North everyday (In comparison here in Dubai). Anyhow, mabilis lang naman travel dto kasi malalaki kasalda. Plus, as of now, I am working at home kaya I dont have to drive sa office namin. Siguru kung back to normal na lahat dito, then we can save money for transport kasi I can pick and drop her to work kasi on the way lang din naman sa work ko.

So sa mga ganung bagay siguru, we can start saving money. Plus, I want to save for the ring na rin  ;)

God bless u all

--- End quote ---

Awww ganyan. Sweet dapat. Sana all lol. Anyway, really happy for you. Its really good to read na may concrete plans ka na after pandemic. Keep it up bro. Cheers

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