High Maintenance Girlfriend

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Offline mark23

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High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 14, 2020, 11:23:16 PM
Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.




Offline ash

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 15, 2020, 01:20:54 AM
Brooo, pag usapan nyo. Mag open ka sa kanya kung ano na yung nararamdaman mo sa mga ganyan situation with her.

Offline mark23

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 16, 2020, 04:55:44 AM
Brooo, pag usapan nyo. Mag open ka sa kanya kung ano na yung nararamdaman mo sa mga ganyan situation with her.

Thank you bro. Nag away kame recently. Minsan, napupuno Lang ako minsan to the point that I broke down and told her about these things, mga luho nia and those things that I have done for her. Sobrang frustrating talaga kasi lahat naman ginawa ko for her and to have what she deserves to be happy. I even told her that I give more to her than to myself kasi mahal na mahal ko xa. Just to explain further, Hindi one sided love ung meron kami at ipinaparamdam din nia ung love at pag aalaga saken pag pagod ako after work at  pag magkasama kme. Sobrang naging exaggerated ako sa mga wordings ko which made her to feel bad and I just wanted to break up with her nung nag away kme. Alam ko ang babae moody yan kaya mabilis magalit at dapat iniintindi. Nagalit Lang talaga ako kasi mejo nakakapagsalita na xa saken ng below the belt na mga salita but I know those are just her way of letting her anger out instead of keeping it inside her. She even started to realize na ayaw nia ako mawala. It is not about the money, luho or whatsoever pero naisip na sobrang  naging bait kong boyfriend, matiisin at higit sa lahat faithful sa kanya. Kahit na minsan wala xang tiwala saken lalo na sa social media feeling nia kasi i still chat with girls i dated before. Nagsorry naman xa sakin at ako din nagsorry din ako sa mga nabitawan kong salita. I told her that I love her so much and explained to her about our plans together at ung mga dapat i-prioritize. Today is our 17th Monthsary, I cant really wait on a new job offer Iím looking forward. I can definitely earn more than what I earn now. Makakapagplano na din ng maayos, makakapag ipon at gusto ko na din makasama xa sa habang panahon.

I guess kahit na mahilig siya sa mga bagay bagay na magaganda, branded or something na Hindi nia nakukuha before, I think she deserves those kasi mahal Ko siya at lahat yun ibibigay ko sa abot ng aking makakaya.  Sarap Lang din sa feeling pag nakikita mo ung mahal mo na masaya dun mga bagay na naibigay mong gustong gusto nia :) Parang bata Lang na excited mag bukas ng balot  ng laruan.

Offline ash

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 16, 2020, 01:28:23 PM
Brooo, pag usapan nyo. Mag open ka sa kanya kung ano na yung nararamdaman mo sa mga ganyan situation with her.

Thank you bro. Nag away kame recently. Minsan, napupuno Lang ako minsan to the point that I broke down and told her about these things, mga luho nia and those things that I have done for her. Sobrang frustrating talaga kasi lahat naman ginawa ko for her and to have what she deserves to be happy. I even told her that I give more to her than to myself kasi mahal na mahal ko xa. Just to explain further, Hindi one sided love ung meron kami at ipinaparamdam din nia ung love at pag aalaga saken pag pagod ako after work at  pag magkasama kme. Sobrang naging exaggerated ako sa mga wordings ko which made her to feel bad and I just wanted to break up with her nung nag away kme. Alam ko ang babae moody yan kaya mabilis magalit at dapat iniintindi. Nagalit Lang talaga ako kasi mejo nakakapagsalita na xa saken ng below the belt na mga salita but I know those are just her way of letting her anger out instead of keeping it inside her. She even started to realize na ayaw nia ako mawala. It is not about the money, luho or whatsoever pero naisip na sobrang  naging bait kong boyfriend, matiisin at higit sa lahat faithful sa kanya. Kahit na minsan wala xang tiwala saken lalo na sa social media feeling nia kasi i still chat with girls i dated before. Nagsorry naman xa sakin at ako din nagsorry din ako sa mga nabitawan kong salita. I told her that I love her so much and explained to her about our plans together at ung mga dapat i-prioritize. Today is our 17th Monthsary, I cant really wait on a new job offer Iím looking forward. I can definitely earn more than what I earn now. Makakapagplano na din ng maayos, makakapag ipon at gusto ko na din makasama xa sa habang panahon.

I guess kahit na mahilig siya sa mga bagay bagay na magaganda, branded or something na Hindi nia nakukuha before, I think she deserves those kasi mahal Ko siya at lahat yun ibibigay ko sa abot ng aking makakaya.  Sarap Lang din sa feeling pag nakikita mo ung mahal mo na masaya dun mga bagay na naibigay mong gustong gusto nia :) Parang bata Lang na excited mag bukas ng balot  ng laruan.

Happy Monthsary! ❤❤❤ stay strong sa inyo bro! Wala talagang perpektong relasyon. Maraming pagsubok ang dadating pero lahat yan malalampasan basta nagmamahalan at nagkakaintindihan. 😊😊😊

Offline Chris

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 17, 2020, 06:24:54 PM
Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.

welcome back, after 7 years! Good to see you.

As I see it, hindi naman gold-digger yung girlfriend mo. She seems nice. Pero ang masasabi ko lang sir, is kapag di kayo magkasundo sa finances ngayon pa lang, magiging malaking away sya pag nag-asawa na kayo. And hindi magandang pag-awayan ang pera ng mag-asawa.

So habang maaga pa, try to iron out the details, bago ka magpropose at magpakasal.

You need to communicate to her kung ano yung problem and issue mo sa kanya. Did you try to be completely honest with her?

Yung trip sa Europe for example, did she ask for it? Or did you just do it? Regardless, dapat bago yung trip nilinaw mo kung pano kayo mag split ng expenses.

Pwede mong iexplain na kailangan mo magtipid para sa future nyo, para di sya magexpect a lot from you financially. Kasi nag iipon ka para sa future ninyong dalawa. You can also casually bring up na magtry sya maghanap ng mas high-paying job, para sa future ng family nyo and kids.

Before you propose, make sure you iron out yang finances. Nagiging source yan ng away mag-asawa so as early as now, kailangan nyo maayos yan. Open communication is key.

Hope this helps. Good luck and keep us posted!

Chris
« Last Edit: July 17, 2020, 06:28:41 PM by Chris »


Offline mark23

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 20, 2020, 07:03:36 PM
Brooo, pag usapan nyo. Mag open ka sa kanya kung ano na yung nararamdaman mo sa mga ganyan situation with her.

Thank you bro. Nag away kame recently. Minsan, napupuno Lang ako minsan to the point that I broke down and told her about these things, mga luho nia and those things that I have done for her. Sobrang frustrating talaga kasi lahat naman ginawa ko for her and to have what she deserves to be happy. I even told her that I give more to her than to myself kasi mahal na mahal ko xa. Just to explain further, Hindi one sided love ung meron kami at ipinaparamdam din nia ung love at pag aalaga saken pag pagod ako after work at  pag magkasama kme. Sobrang naging exaggerated ako sa mga wordings ko which made her to feel bad and I just wanted to break up with her nung nag away kme. Alam ko ang babae moody yan kaya mabilis magalit at dapat iniintindi. Nagalit Lang talaga ako kasi mejo nakakapagsalita na xa saken ng below the belt na mga salita but I know those are just her way of letting her anger out instead of keeping it inside her. She even started to realize na ayaw nia ako mawala. It is not about the money, luho or whatsoever pero naisip na sobrang  naging bait kong boyfriend, matiisin at higit sa lahat faithful sa kanya. Kahit na minsan wala xang tiwala saken lalo na sa social media feeling nia kasi i still chat with girls i dated before. Nagsorry naman xa sakin at ako din nagsorry din ako sa mga nabitawan kong salita. I told her that I love her so much and explained to her about our plans together at ung mga dapat i-prioritize. Today is our 17th Monthsary, I cant really wait on a new job offer Iím looking forward. I can definitely earn more than what I earn now. Makakapagplano na din ng maayos, makakapag ipon at gusto ko na din makasama xa sa habang panahon.

I guess kahit na mahilig siya sa mga bagay bagay na magaganda, branded or something na Hindi nia nakukuha before, I think she deserves those kasi mahal Ko siya at lahat yun ibibigay ko sa abot ng aking makakaya.  Sarap Lang din sa feeling pag nakikita mo ung mahal mo na masaya dun mga bagay na naibigay mong gustong gusto nia :) Parang bata Lang na excited mag bukas ng balot  ng laruan.

Happy Monthsary! ❤❤❤ stay strong sa inyo bro! Wala talagang perpektong relasyon. Maraming pagsubok ang dadating pero lahat yan malalampasan basta nagmamahalan at nagkakaintindihan. 😊😊😊

Thank you bro! God bless

Offline mark23

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 20, 2020, 07:40:48 PM
Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.

welcome back, after 7 years! Good to see you.

As I see it, hindi naman gold-digger yung girlfriend mo. She seems nice. Pero ang masasabi ko lang sir, is kapag di kayo magkasundo sa finances ngayon pa lang, magiging malaking away sya pag nag-asawa na kayo. And hindi magandang pag-awayan ang pera ng mag-asawa.

So habang maaga pa, try to iron out the details, bago ka magpropose at magpakasal.

You need to communicate to her kung ano yung problem and issue mo sa kanya. Did you try to be completely honest with her?

Yung trip sa Europe for example, did she ask for it? Or did you just do it? Regardless, dapat bago yung trip nilinaw mo kung pano kayo mag split ng expenses.

Pwede mong iexplain na kailangan mo magtipid para sa future nyo, para di sya magexpect a lot from you financially. Kasi nag iipon ka para sa future ninyong dalawa. You can also casually bring up na magtry sya maghanap ng mas high-paying job, para sa future ng family nyo and kids.

Before you propose, make sure you iron out yang finances. Nagiging source yan ng away mag-asawa so as early as now, kailangan nyo maayos yan. Open communication is key.

Hope this helps. Good luck and keep us posted!

Chris

Hello Sir Chris.

Salamat sa advice. I keep telling her that I want to save money and I honestly say na may mga liabilities ako and I spent alot din lalo na para sakin bilang lalaki, I usually pay everytime we go out for dinner or something as I said mas malaki sweldo ko sa kanya.

Dun sa Europe trip naman, for some reason, akala nia nakasave din ako money nung nagstay ako sa Company Hotel niya with free food dun sa training nia sa Germany for a week kaya feeling ko inaassume nia na kaya ko na icover ung mga hotels dun sa iba pang bansa na pinuntahan namin.  Obviously, sa aming dalawa ako talaga ang gumagastos ng malaki kasi even my tickets are paid from my own pocket. Same routine, I pay even for our food and drinks as well sa mga gala. But I dont mind kasi trip namin un, bakasyon namin un at nag eenjoy ako kasama siya sa mga magagandang lugar na pinuntahan namin. Mejo somehow, insensitive lang xa saken lalo na pag naooverwhelm na xa sa mga nakikita nia sa paligid during that time, so gusto nia matry lahat akala ko di mauubos ung pocket money na pinahawak ko sa kanya akala ko we will try to budget those on entire trip.  Eka nga eh minsan lang naman mangyare un so itry naman or dun naman kumain or what. (First trip nia kasi sa Europe yun and I do understand).

We even fought a lot during our travel at ung usapan namin about split bills regarding train fair from one country to another, it ended up ako nagcover lahat due to some arguments and at ayoko nalang pahabain ung away. Pero sinasabi naman nia saken on some occassions na ibabalik din nia saken lahat ng nagastos kahit di ako naniningil. sabi nia kung siya ang kumita ng malaki, a-spoiled daw nia ako sa lahat. She will buy me anything I want. Naiintindihan ko na di gaano kalakihan ung kinikita nia ngaun at lahat ng sinabi ko dito ay hindi panunumbat sa kanya.

Mahal ko siya at lahat ng meron ako shineshare ko sa kanya. Di man nia ako masuklian financially sa panahon ngaun pero inaalagaan nia ako at minamahal din. Minsan lang talaga masakit xa magsalita pag galit ako naman itong minsan di nakokontrol ang galit kaya pareho kame sumasabog.

We had a small argument again last night sa fb messenger chat about her being pressured na tumatanda na kme wala pa kaplano plano according to her. I told her, let's handle this at a time. She knew I am still waiting for a job opportunity which can double my current salary. Sabi ko sa kanya, I can't move forward at the moment but to wait patiently. Gusto ko din mag ipon to buy her a ring she truly deserve. For some reason, after that argument she realized na nahihirapan din ako, even my mom from Canada asked her to teach me saved money nung minsan magkagroup chat kme on some family gathering here in Dubai. 

Out of her frustration staying on a shared place, she wanted to move somewhere ung tumira kme sa isang studio na kme lang dalawa and I told her good idea kasi break even lang pagdating sa bayad when we combine our budget for rent. Kasi gusto namin ng both privacy at mas makakatipid na kme.  Ang difference is I don't have to drive 37km to her place and drive 37km back home everyday which can save me petrol, pagod and tolls. We can save kasi we dont have to go out para kumain sa labas kasi she loves my cooking din. We can just do that occasionally. Then she told me that she wanted to review my expenditures from my CC and we will make a way to reduce those. Gusto nia ako tulungan at yun gsto ko mangyare na marealize nia san lahat nappunta ung mga ginagastos ko.

In God's will sana lahat ng plano namin matuloy lahat lahat, makaipon ng kaunti para makapagproceed sa mga gsto namin mangyari in the long run. Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ng lahat, kailangan pa rin ng budget para ayain ko na siya magpakasal as you said we need iron everything. Hindi naman kailangan sobrang stable kung magpapakasal kme kasi ang pag ibig di dapat yan pinaghihintay kasi through thick and thin nga diba. Tulungan lang at tiwala.

God bless you all! :)

I am just sharing what I currently feel right now. She is my first girlfriend by the way and she will be the last.

Offline den0saur

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 23, 2020, 11:03:26 AM
Anything money-related, medyo mahirap pag-usapan no? But since decided ka naman na na siya na talaga, I suggest you start being transparent na especially pagdating jan sa finances nyo. Once you two are married, mas amraming financial decisions na kakailanganin yung transparency nyo sa isa't isa. Kung sa ngayon, wala pa kayo dun, eh simulan nyo na.
The fact that this stings, ibig sabihin may sugat. May mali. Talk to her. Pag usapan nyo. Lay down your expectations. Baka naman nahihiya syang mag-offer ng bayad kasi mukhang di mo naman tatanggapin. Or baka nga wala talaga syang pambigay. Hehehe. PEro magiging pera rin naman nya ang pera mo so might as well pag-sapan nyo na talaga kung paano kayo maghahandle ng finances kapag mag-asawa na kayo.
To share, ako binibigay ko lahat ng kita ko. So far hindi ko naman nararamdaman na nadedeprive ako of things. Yes kasi ayaw akong ibili ng iMac pero luho lang din naman kaya gets naman. Hahaha.
Hope this helps.

Offline ChefDoc

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 25, 2020, 10:20:59 AM
Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.

Well, first and foremost, ang swerte ng girlfriend mo sayo. Bihira ang ganyang guy e. Well at some point din sa life ko, I experienced the same.

Nasa nature na yan ng mga lalake na we're willing to give everything. Do everything. But between two parties, communication will always be the key.

Ilang years na ba kayo? The fact na gusto mo na mag propose, it means you both achieved the level of trust na mahirap ibuild up in a relationship plus, comfortable na kayo sa isat isa. In that sense, you can always open up sa kanya regarding that matter.

She can accept it naman if mature siya. Tell her na kelangan mag ipon, since ganito situation, kelangan di masyadong magasto. Lalo na if settle kayo soon. Kelangan may foundation ang finances nya or financial stability. Providing sa family nya and as breadwinner, yun muna priority niyo. Cut spending muna sa mga stuff and travel. But reward yourselves rin paminsan minsan.

Again, open up bro. It wont hurt. Kung ako sa lugar nya, mas naappreciate ko open up partner. Para di na tumagal yang cause ng away niyo. Have a good day

Offline mark23

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 29, 2020, 10:09:44 AM
Anything money-related, medyo mahirap pag-usapan no? But since decided ka naman na na siya na talaga, I suggest you start being transparent na especially pagdating jan sa finances nyo. Once you two are married, mas amraming financial decisions na kakailanganin yung transparency nyo sa isa't isa. Kung sa ngayon, wala pa kayo dun, eh simulan nyo na.
The fact that this stings, ibig sabihin may sugat. May mali. Talk to her. Pag usapan nyo. Lay down your expectations. Baka naman nahihiya syang mag-offer ng bayad kasi mukhang di mo naman tatanggapin. Or baka nga wala talaga syang pambigay. Hehehe. PEro magiging pera rin naman nya ang pera mo so might as well pag-sapan nyo na talaga kung paano kayo maghahandle ng finances kapag mag-asawa na kayo.
To share, ako binibigay ko lahat ng kita ko. So far hindi ko naman nararamdaman na nadedeprive ako of things. Yes kasi ayaw akong ibili ng iMac pero luho lang din naman kaya gets naman. Hahaha.
Hope this helps.

Thank you bro. That's true. Minsan kapag pera na ung pinag uusapan parang ang hirap mag open up lalo na if problema or may kagipitan. It is not about I ask financial help from her pero ung moral support lang ba or mag isip ng ways to solve these. I don't want to be added on her burdens kasi dami din nia problema financially lalo na at struggle din siya sa pagbudget sa padala nia sa pinas pati sa pagbabayad ng bahay nia dun na hanggang ngaun hindi pa naitatayo kasi dami pa process na need. 

Lagi naman ako nakikipag usap sa kanya about our problems. pero sa simula talagang arguments muna bago magsettle lahat. Siya kasi ung tipo ng babae na parang attorney din ba where she thinks na siya ung lage tama when arguing. However, naayos ko naman at nagkakapaliwanagan kme. I always explain her what are my plans with her in the future. Ofcourse, kahit wala pa ako pera ngaun, i always tell her that I will marry her soon and I am looking forward on some opportunity that will come shortly para makapag initiate ako. Alam mo naman diba na we still need budget in order for us to initiate a plan.

Offline mark23

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 29, 2020, 10:19:34 AM
Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.

Well, first and foremost, ang swerte ng girlfriend mo sayo. Bihira ang ganyang guy e. Well at some point din sa life ko, I experienced the same.

Nasa nature na yan ng mga lalake na we're willing to give everything. Do everything. But between two parties, communication will always be the key.

Ilang years na ba kayo? The fact na gusto mo na mag propose, it means you both achieved the level of trust na mahirap ibuild up in a relationship plus, comfortable na kayo sa isat isa. In that sense, you can always open up sa kanya regarding that matter.

She can accept it naman if mature siya. Tell her na kelangan mag ipon, since ganito situation, kelangan di masyadong magasto. Lalo na if settle kayo soon. Kelangan may foundation ang finances nya or financial stability. Providing sa family nya and as breadwinner, yun muna priority niyo. Cut spending muna sa mga stuff and travel. But reward yourselves rin paminsan minsan.

Again, open up bro. It wont hurt. Kung ako sa lugar nya, mas naappreciate ko open up partner. Para di na tumagal yang cause ng away niyo. Have a good day

I can't say na siya ung swerte saken. Hirap magclaim na ganun. Siguru maswerte kme sa isa't isa. Tama ka bro, lahat naman tayo gusto naten ung best para mahal natin diba? Tama kayo proper communication lang talaga ang kailangan at wag sumabay sa galit kasi pareho kami sasabog.

Mag two years na din kme and plan ko na lumevel up kasi di na din kme pabata. Nasa edad na din kme magpakasal at bumuo ng pamilya. So far ngaun, we are trying to find ways to save money. Pinagbabaon ko na siya ng food sa work instead of ordering online or take aways, mas healthy na masarap pa. Hilig ko din kasi magluto at love nia lahat ng food na hinahanda ko para sa kanya.  I am moving next month near her place so I dont have to drive back and forth which is like Muntinlupa to SM North everyday (In comparison here in Dubai). Anyhow, mabilis lang naman travel dto kasi malalaki kasalda. Plus, as of now, I am working at home kaya I dont have to drive sa office namin. Siguru kung back to normal na lahat dito, then we can save money for transport kasi I can pick and drop her to work kasi on the way lang din naman sa work ko.

So sa mga ganung bagay siguru, we can start saving money. Plus, I want to save for the ring na rin  ;)

God bless u all

Offline Chris

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 29, 2020, 03:36:28 PM
^happy for you! Keep us posted. Honesty and transparency is key.

Bago kami ikasal ng wife ko back in 2016, we were transparent as to how much we earn, how much our expenses are, magkano binibigay sa parents (kung meron man) and all sorts and pano hatian sa expenses. Being completely open helped a lot so nagkakaintindihan kami.

I know it's a difficult conversation, pero you have to do it one way or the other kung magpapakasal kayo.

Need nyo pag-usapan yan, kasi for example, mag-uusap din kayo one way or the other kung pano gastos sa kasal? Pano hatian kung meron man. Ikaw ba magshoshoulder lahat or magshashare sya?

Also, it helps if mag-open kayo joint account. I have a friend who did this, kahit bf-gf pa lang sila, to see how they will do with their finances before even taking it to the next level.

Hope this helps!

Offline angelo11

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: July 29, 2020, 09:00:00 PM
Kami laging 50-50 ang gastos, pero kapag alam namin na short ung isa eh sya muna gumagastos. Saka diepende din kasi sa lifestyle nyo kung paano kayo gumastos, kailangan talaga is ung lifestyle nyo ang mag adjust dipende sa kung gaano kalaki ung sinasahod nyo hindi dapat ang sahod ang mag aadjust lalo na't hndi naman ganun kabilis mabigyan ng increase sa work.

Kailangan lang talaga is know your priorities at kailngan open kayo sa isa't isa about dun, kasi dun na mag sisimula din kung gaano lang ung dapat nyong gastusin sa mga luho nyo. saka pwede ding na every sahod nyo mag laan kayo ng pera na iniipon nya para kung sakaling meron kayong labas or bibilhin or even date. 2020 narin naman maiintindihan na yan ng partner mo, preparation narin kapag nag sama kayo..

Offline ChefDoc

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Re: High Maintenance Girlfriend

  • on: August 01, 2020, 12:28:45 AM
Hello all, i just logged in here after 7 years and I really need some advice.

Have you experience having a high maintenance girlfriend? I don't want to label my girlfriend with that word because I respect her so much and I love her. Both of us are OFWs and she is a bread winner of her family. Most of her salary are sent to her parents and I dont have any issue about dun because pera nia yun at importante un kasi pamilya ang pinapadalhan. Ako din naman ginagawa ko din un for my family. Compared to her, I earn more than her and I have my own car. Dati nung single pa ako, I just spend my salary for my expenses, padala sa magulang, bayad sa mga bills at sa loan and the rest are just saved (hindi naman sobrang kalakihan ung natitira sa sweldo. sabi nga habang lumalaki ung sweldo lumalaki din ung gastos). Magtwo years na kme ng gf ko at nasanay ako na sinusundo ko xa after work, kaen sa labas and I mostly pay kasi alam ko na maliit lang sweldo nia at nauuwe lahat yun sa rent nia sa bahay at padala. I dont mind kasi pagkain naman un.  If she requests me something food, damit or anything, I always give it to her as long as I have money to spend. 

Love namin ung isa't isa and I even brought her to a Europe Trip after her company training in Germany.  Ofcourse, ako mostly ang gumastos  after ng training nia  kasi 1 week lang naman training nia which is covered by the company while after that ako na lahat gastos mapapagkain, train at accommodation.

 I don't mind kasi may pera naman ako nun nakatabi saka I have credit card to spend so deferred ang payment until next salary. Alam ko laki siya sa hirap at bread winner xa kaya alam ko kung gano kaimportate sa kanya ang kumita ng pera at itustos sa pamilya. May mga times na nahihiya din xa saken at sinasabi nia saken un and sometimes pag may extra xa, she will pay our bill sa restaurant.

She even gave me an expensive gift on my birthday kahit na maliit lang kinikita nia. I appreciate that. We're not staying together as I respect her kasi gusto nia pag kasal na kme tumira sa isang bubong. Ngaun I feel bad kasi dumadating sa point na I dont have enough money and I wanted to save money para mabayaran ko lahat ng liabilities ko at makapagtabi ng pera for our future.

Gusto ko magpropose sa kanya at ibili xa ng diamond ring na pangarap nia. (Dati kasi kinakantyawan nia ako na sana ung ring nia di nakakahiyang iflex at instragramable..pero pabiro lang yun..

Ofcourse, i wanted her to have the best ring that she deserve). She is really frustrated na ngaun on the place where she is staying kasi nakakapagod din pag shared apartments ka nakatira and I told her soon magkakabahay na tayo sarili, we will get married and go ahead with our plans in the future.

Nangangarap ako na sana siya ung para saken. Sumasama lang talaga loob ko ngaun kasi parang hindi nia ako naiintindihan or hindi xa nagiging considerate saken knowing na alam nia kung ano ung sweldo ko at alam nia lahat kung san nappunta lahat un. Dahil sa situation ngaun ng buong mundo (Covid), everything gone slow and affected. Minsan nasstress nalang ako kapag naiisip ko lahat ung pressure sa girlfriend ko, pressure sa work, pressure na wala pang ipon at sa financial liabilities ko. ang hirap ng situation ko ngaun. Minsan gusto ko nalang gumive up sa kanya at magpakalayo layo, pero mahal ko xa. Naisip ko lang buhat ng naging girlfriend ko xa parang wala na natira para sa sarili ko. :(

Ung mga assumptions ko about sa kanya, iniisip ko lang yan kasi yan ung pakiramdam ko. May sarili xa problema at ayaw ko na dumagdag sa mga iniisip nia lalo na pag financial ang topic. ang hirap talaga. We are in good terms pero sa mga topic na ganito, dun lang talaga problema. i feel bad parang ung sarili lang nia iniisip nia pagdating ganitong issues. Parang she dont care about mine as well. I am not asking help from her pero minsan naiisip ko sana kahit moral support lang at consideration.

Well, first and foremost, ang swerte ng girlfriend mo sayo. Bihira ang ganyang guy e. Well at some point din sa life ko, I experienced the same.

Nasa nature na yan ng mga lalake na we're willing to give everything. Do everything. But between two parties, communication will always be the key.

Ilang years na ba kayo? The fact na gusto mo na mag propose, it means you both achieved the level of trust na mahirap ibuild up in a relationship plus, comfortable na kayo sa isat isa. In that sense, you can always open up sa kanya regarding that matter.

She can accept it naman if mature siya. Tell her na kelangan mag ipon, since ganito situation, kelangan di masyadong magasto. Lalo na if settle kayo soon. Kelangan may foundation ang finances nya or financial stability. Providing sa family nya and as breadwinner, yun muna priority niyo. Cut spending muna sa mga stuff and travel. But reward yourselves rin paminsan minsan.

Again, open up bro. It wont hurt. Kung ako sa lugar nya, mas naappreciate ko open up partner. Para di na tumagal yang cause ng away niyo. Have a good day

I can't say na siya ung swerte saken. Hirap magclaim na ganun. Siguru maswerte kme sa isa't isa. Tama ka bro, lahat naman tayo gusto naten ung best para mahal natin diba? Tama kayo proper communication lang talaga ang kailangan at wag sumabay sa galit kasi pareho kami sasabog.

Mag two years na din kme and plan ko na lumevel up kasi di na din kme pabata. Nasa edad na din kme magpakasal at bumuo ng pamilya. So far ngaun, we are trying to find ways to save money. Pinagbabaon ko na siya ng food sa work instead of ordering online or take aways, mas healthy na masarap pa. Hilig ko din kasi magluto at love nia lahat ng food na hinahanda ko para sa kanya.  I am moving next month near her place so I dont have to drive back and forth which is like Muntinlupa to SM North everyday (In comparison here in Dubai). Anyhow, mabilis lang naman travel dto kasi malalaki kasalda. Plus, as of now, I am working at home kaya I dont have to drive sa office namin. Siguru kung back to normal na lahat dito, then we can save money for transport kasi I can pick and drop her to work kasi on the way lang din naman sa work ko.

So sa mga ganung bagay siguru, we can start saving money. Plus, I want to save for the ring na rin  ;)

God bless u all

Awww ganyan. Sweet dapat. Sana all lol. Anyway, really happy for you. Its really good to read na may concrete plans ka na after pandemic. Keep it up bro. Cheers