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How to NOT get into the Friend Zone

by Chris
18 comments

couple-beach

Image credit: Here | License

When it comes to the dating arena, the last thing every guy would want is to find himself in the friend zone. Because when you get into the friend zone, it is almost impossible to get out of it. There is no turning back and it’s time to say goodbye to your prospect girlfriend because she is now just your ordinary girl friend (take note of the space).

What’s the friend zone anyway? If you aren’t familiar read this. You see, women classify every guy they meet into two. They group all guys who are a potential date and a potential boyfriend into the “dating zone”. And they group all those guys who are a good friend, a possible best friend or a brother to the so-called “friend zone” – somewhere you will never want to be in for the hottie you’re dating.

I’d like to share with you the things I have observed and learned so that you will not get into that dreadful friend zone.

1. Mystery is the keyword
Mystery is a turn-on. Don’t share too much information about yourself initially. My girlfriend tells me that when I was courting her there is really something in me that keeps her interested. She wants to know me better. Reason? I didn’t spill too much information during our first few dates. Guys who share too much on the first few meetings end up as just friends with the girl. But guys who preserve the mystery keeps the dating game exciting.

2. Don’t talk about relationships with her
This is a no-brainer, I’m sure. Why would you even talk about dating, relationships or even her ex with her? You see, these stories are reserved for her girl friends, not for you (that is, if you still want to fall into her “dating zone”). You should talk about topics involving the two of you, the places where you would want to take her and at least slowly give her hints that you like her.

3. Don’t always make yourself available
Don’t get me wrong on this one. Of course you should ALWAYS be there for her when you feel that she likes you already. But during the initial stages of getting-to-know each other, your availability can determine your fate. Remember, friends are the people who are always around. So if you are always around her you might just fall into the friend zone – so don’t overdo it. Be there when she least expects it and surprise her with chocolates at her desk and I promise you won’t regret it.

4. Don’t be a good puppy
A good puppy does everything their owner tells them. Guys who just say yes and yes to everything she says are wimps and she knows that they are boring to be with. Don’t forget that you have your own set of beliefs and mindset so stand for what you believe in and what you want. Learn when to agree and when to disagree. You’d be surprised that she will get more attracted to you because of your innate confidence.

5. Say how you feel but…
Not too early or you will freak her out. Saying how you feel is the most effective way to NOT fall into the friend zone. Want to know why? Because you have said clearly from the start what your intentions are and that is to be her boyfriend and not just friends. This is important so that she knows what to expect and won’t mistakenly place you in her circle of guy friends. Just make sure that the timing is right.

How about you? What have you learned about the friend zone? Share your own tips or experiences, I’m sure you can add more to the list.

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18 comments

Tim September 28, 2009 - 7:23 pm

I can relate!

Reply
Zeno September 28, 2009 - 8:55 pm

I can really use this

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cataclysmic September 28, 2009 - 11:42 pm

Hahaha I usually fall into the friend zone almost 95% of the time… Bummer isn’t it?

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Yodz Insigne September 29, 2009 - 2:14 pm

Wow, I have been to that and I’m trapped.

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idmorps October 1, 2009 - 8:49 pm

same here. happens to me most of the time.

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Bunsoi October 10, 2009 - 11:48 pm

Friend zone?

That reminds me of the movie Just Friends with Ryan Reynolds and Amy Smart.

Super nice.

And me point tlga.

Anyways, according to the Ryan’s character:

Don’t take her on a lunch date. Invite her on a dinner date, always.

Kasi daw, lunch date is only for friends. lol.

Me point din naman talaga! HAHAHA

Reply
mary October 24, 2009 - 7:38 pm

thanks for the tip πŸ™‚ this is not just for guys lol!

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Marky November 12, 2009 - 12:30 pm

It will really help lot of Guys including me. πŸ™‚

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Marky November 19, 2009 - 3:33 pm

If you think you’re alrteady in the friend zone, how will you come out of that zone?

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IFiWEREaBOY December 9, 2009 - 11:31 pm

@ Marky, try to step back and see if the girl chases\haunts you back.
What i mean is, pakipot ka onti πŸ™‚ pag ang guys pakipot, chicks “sometimes” dig that(NOTE: depende pala sa chicks, pag ayaw talaga, try mu ulit,,,,hmmm….. pag ayaw ulit sau.. wag na ipilit pa)

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shinji August 6, 2010 - 3:18 am

@Marky: Call/text her at late night saying “I have to tell you something… (dont continue just put down the phone)…” At morning ma su-surprise ka sa mga unread messages and miscalls sa fone mu (2x ko na na try yan eh sa answering machine ng babae) πŸ˜‰

– kaka tulong yang being mysterious. Wag ka lng mag deny if she founds something about u, just dont tell her everything and ends it with a ala-jhonny depp smile. pabitin kumbaga.

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Justin August 22, 2010 - 6:29 pm

hey man. i encountered this too in another website. i guess i’m starting off too early (I’m 14) so i’m just dealing with a few friends from the school next door (miriam college) and i’ve got to say that this helped me. not majorly, but in a way, helped me understand making the right moves in a more… simple manner. thanks for the post. PGG helps me a lot.

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hahaha December 15, 2011 - 2:20 pm

I violate 3 and 4.. but now I learned something

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Jhoebe January 18, 2012 - 11:21 am

i violated every single one of them. darn it. XD now i know. thank PGG

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Erwin Alcazar May 27, 2012 - 3:11 pm

2. Don’t talk about relationships with her

– Nagkaroon ako ng violation dito hahaha. She knows I am a good listener at hindi maiwasan yung ikwento nya yung relationship nya sa girl. (SHE IS A LESBIAN and IN A RELATIONSHIP by the way and I am a straight guy). Hay.

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nightfall March 16, 2015 - 10:32 am

oh wow forever ako nasa friend zone

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saz May 1, 2015 - 3:44 pm

Prang naviolate ko yung number 1 damn!…i thought sharing your experiences with her makes them to know you better and getting some trust …now i know it ☺

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Anna June 9, 2015 - 3:08 am

As a woman, I think if a man is placed in the friend zone, it’s simply because the woman is not interested in him and no amount of mind games will change that. The guy should ask himself what he thinks makes him unattractive to the woman he wants and then work on those personal issues. Is it his looks? His hygiene? His character? His prospects? Or maybe it’s not even about him. Maybe she’s already into somebody else.

By same token , if a woman doesn’t put a man in the friend zone it’s because she’s interested in him in the first place, not because of the stuff on this list.

Reply

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