There is something that I’d like to talk about which I know for sure that men don’t often speak about, especially in person and in public among their friends.
You see, despite living in times where everyone is connected on a global scale (thanks to the Internet and to Facebook), I find it puzzling how the young folks of today, especially guys who live and work in the city, have trouble finding someone to date and subsequently staying in a relationship.
And to be honest, I’ve experienced that difficulty of finding women to date, too. That’s why, I even wrote a blog post about it on “How I Met The One” last year.
During the times of our parents, it has become almost mandatory for everyone to be married before 30. But in today’s times? Nah, people just don’t care whether you’re single beyond 30 or what not.
But I ask all the singles guys out there: Is being single really a choice for you? Are you happy to be a bachelor for the rest of your life? Or are you just having a hard time finding eligible women to date who suits your personality?
If your answer is yes, you are fine being single for the rest of your life, then I’m sincerely happy for you. But if your answer is no, you would want to get married someday but just have trouble finding women to date, then I have good news for you.
For the past couple of months, I did some research and surveyed all my male readers here on Pinoy Guy Guide who are in a relationship or are married to ask them one single question:
How and where did you meet your special someone?
The results of the survey was an absolute eye-opener. Because some guys answered places that you wouldn’t expect to meet women. You would also be surprised which place tops the list on where to meet single and available women.
So without further ado, I enumerate, in descending order, The Top Places to Meet Single Women.
Ready? Let’s start with number 10.
Number 10: At a Wedding of a Friend
Surprised? Me too.
But let’s be honest. If you are single, it sucks to attend weddings.
While you mean well for the wedding of your friend and wish them the best in their marriage, you can’t help not to feel sorry for yourself for being single and without a companion at an event where romance is being celebrated.
Who will be your plus one?
Who are you going to sit beside with at the wedding?
Will you be seated in a table full of couples and end up being the eleventh wheel?
But despite all the frustrating thoughts that run in your head whenever you get invited to a wedding, I still suggest that you look at the brighter side of things. Usually at weddings, there are two tables reserved for single guests who are without plus ones. Who knows you might just meet her at the singles table on the next wedding you’re invited to? Plus, weddings are full of people who are friends with the bride and the groom so you are quite sure that the girl you would meet is someone decent and someone who probably shares the same interest as you.
Based on my survey, a surprising 3% of guys met their special someones at their friend’s wedding. Not bad for some place you didn’t really expect to meet someone, right?
So the next time you receive a wedding invite, make sure to RSVP right away. And yes, even if you don’t have a plus one – that’s perfectly fine.
Number 9: At an Organization
In my past blog posts, I’ve always encouraged guys to join organizations and social functions.
The reason? Three things. One is you get to do something productive with your time that is close to your passions and interests. Two is you get to meet new people and make new friends. Three and most important of all is you might just meet someone special who could be your potential date.
It may appear to be a no-brainer but don’t underestimate joining organizations because about 4% of guys I surveyed met their girlfriends at an organization or club.
So next time you find an organization that you pretty like, whether that would be a mountaineering club, a photographer’s club or even volunteering for charity, make sure to not pass on it as you might just find someone you like.
Number 8: While Partying / Clubbing / Hanging out at a Bar
Some people look down upon the idea of meeting girls while partying, clubbing or hanging out at a bar. They have the impression that clubbing is just for hookups, hence the negative connotation that comes along with it.
The usual question that comes to the mind of most guys is: can you find a decent girl while partying at the club?
That’s a question that is often tricky to answer.
Yes, perhaps some girls aren’t decent. But that doesn’t mean to say that we should generalize everyone and exclude all girls including those who, by chance, are just there to have a good time partying after a hard day’s work.
Maybe some girls are just there to accompany a friend, or to celebrate a friend’s birthday or what not. It does not necessarily mean that they are there to hookup.
Two friends of mine met their long time girlfriends at a high-end club similar to the likes of The Palace, Pangaea and Cove Manila.
And while it takes a lot of guts, alcohol and game to approach a random girl and introduce yourself during a night out, it wouldn’t hurt to try. A fair 5% of PGG readers say they have met their girlfriend or wife while partying at a bar or club.
Number 7: Bumped into her at a mall or some random place
Call it serendipity but a fair number of guys have met their girlfriends at a mall or some random place like a park.
Yes, a park, while walking their dogs. Just like in the movies.
Maybe, there’s some girl you always bump into at the bookstore, at the supermarket, at the MRT, at the school library or at the cafeteria. How about saying “hi” and introducing yourself to that girl?
Or how about the teller at a bank that you always transact with? Maybe she’s single? How about having a quick chat with her while paying your bills.
You see, these days, we’ve been so busy with our mobile phones and devices that we are completely unaware of our surroundings. We barely interact with people even with those sitting beside us at a coffee shop.
So the next time that you are outside the house, make sure to be aware of your surroundings and say hi to the girl you often chance upon at the office elevators. You never know how far saying hello would take you in your dating game until you try. I know for sure, because the PGG survey says that as high as 6% of men have met women by chance, at some random place. Like some really really random place you wouldn’t expect.
Number 6: Online Dating / Dating Apps
I have mixed feelings about online dating, and even dating apps.
For one, the Internet exposes you to millions (if not billions) of strangers who are either scumbags, posers pretending to be someone they are not, someone who’s just looking for quick and dangerous sex, or much worse, gold diggers.
With absolutely no background of who you are dealing with and no idea how sincere and honest they are about themselves, dating someone from the Internet or an app might seem like a disaster especially when you find out that in person they are a total creep.
And that is not to mention how some people look down to online dating and think of it is as a
lazy lousy place to meet women.
But putting all the negativity aside, what would surprise you is how close to 8% of PGG readers met their girlfriends and spouses via online dating and dating apps.
We just can’t ignore the fact that we live in times where technology would give you more options. Options between traditional shopping and online shopping. Alternatives between classroom training and e-Learning. And now, choices between traditional dating and online dating.
Still, the most important thing to consider when it comes to meeting women is try whichever option would work for you. If you intend to go the modern route of using technology to meet someone, it is important to remember that the Internet should serve only as the first point of contact. Afterwards, all the succeeding communications and “dates” should happen in person to get to know her better and to verify if everything that she says is real before giving away your trust.
When shopping online, you just don’t give away your credit card info without verifying who you are buying from. The same is true in online dating. You should proceed with an extra level of caution in case you decide to swipe right.
Number 5: At Work
Nothing unites two people like shared experiences do.
And that is why, when it comes to attraction, there is something called the law of proximity, which states that, people often get attracted to people they interact with on a daily basis.
So that is the reason why people develop feelings for their teammates and colleagues at the office. The close proximity and the common set of experiences bonds them together.
While top management in offices might frown at having a relationship with a co-worker due to conflicts of interest, that should not hinder you from meeting women. Just make sure that you are discreet and that your relationship won’t get in the way with HR policies.
My parents are proof that relationships that started at work can work out right. And over here on PGG? A surprising 9% of male readers met their girlfriends and spouses at work.
Number 4: Someone played matchmaker to us
When I speak of matchmaking here, I’m talking about being formally introduced or “referred” by your friends to their other single friends with the clear and explicit intention (plus high hopes) that you would find a flame.
Some people don’t like it because it feels somewhat forced and unnatural. Moreover, there is a certain level of pressure to make the match successful because someone is watching – your matchmaker friend.
And if the match is unsuccessful or even if it works but eventually falls apart, it can be a little awkward to talk about it with your matchmaker because he or she is a common friend.
Nevertheless, one can’t deny that this method of finding a date is very effective and I have proof. My wife and I got formally introduced this way and as you can see, the success rate of it is particularly high. 😉
10% of readers say they met through this way. That percentage is higher than I even expected.
Number 3: Through a common friend
Six Degrees of Separation is a concept or idea that each one of us is connected to another person in six or fewer steps away from each other in a chain of “a friend of a friend”.
That means that any two people or soulmates for that matter, are at a maximum of six friends away from meeting each other.
What does it mean for you? Well, the more friends and social connections that you have, the more chances of you being introduced to a new person, who might potentially be your future girlfriend or wife.
Maybe you are wondering. What’s the difference between Number 4 (Someone played matchmaker to us) and this one?
They are almost similar but they have one major difference.
Number 4 is about being intentionally matched, while this one, Number 3: Through a common friend, is being introduced to some girl, by chance, while you are hanging out with a common bunch of friends. Here, there is less pressure and your common friend may not even have the idea that you two “clicked” and are even dating in the first place.
As high as 16% of PGG readers found a date by chance through a common friend.
Number 2: In Church
It is hard to believe that a place as sacred as a church could be a place to find someone special.
But why not? If someone is heaven sent for you (literally), then you will find her in the church you attend mass to.
You see, when I speak of church here, it is not just merely the church where you attend Sunday masses in. It’s also the church organizations and communities you join such as the Church choir, Singles for Christ, Youth for Christ, The Feast etc. where you have the potential to meet girls who have the same beliefs as yours. Having the same beliefs is great because you already have something big in common.
Just a piece of advice though. Please don’t join church organizations if your intention is just to meet girls. That’s pretty lame and a big NO. Join because of your faith in God and because you are willing to serve.
It’s all about sincerity here.
And so, if, by chance, you get to meet someone from church with whom you have the chemistry and sparks, then that is just the icing on top of the the cake.
Believe it or not, as high as 18% of PGG readers found their special someone in Church-related organizations.
Number 1: In School
Highschool and college kids have no idea how lucky they are. Everywhere they go and each turn they make while they are at school, they would bump into girls. Hallways, corridors, stairs, classrooms, P.E. classes, group projects, seatmates and the school cafeteria. The list is basically endless. Girls are literally everywhere! And most of them are single!
And so if you happen to still be a student and you are reading this, do yourself a favor by making sure you don’t graduate without getting yourself a girlfriend. Trust me, it’s so much easier to find women while you’re still in campus than when you are already working.
Here’s proof: As high as 21% of PGG readers found their current girlfriends and their spouses while they were still a student.
But hey, don’t get me wrong though. I’m not saying you prioritize getting a girl more than getting a degree. Like any aspect in life, it’s all about balance. Make sure you ace the test, but don’t forget to find a girl along the way.
But what about if you are no longer a student and are already working – you ask?
The answer is simple. Join self-improvement classes and short term courses which you are interested in. Or heck, enroll yourself in a graduate program which you have long dreamed of. Not only will you be improving yourself but you would also get a chance to meet someone special. Because who knows if your seatmate on your next class is actually “The One”?
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