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Why being a “torpe” will never work

by Chris
89 comments

Unless you have the looks and popularity of Brad Pitt, the body of a Greek god and the richness of Bill Gates – you will never find a date if you’re a shy guy especially in the not-so-liberated Philippines.

But first things first, what’s a “torpe” anyway? For the guys out there who didn’t grow up in the Philippines, “torpe” is the term used to describe a guy, who is so in love with a girl but is too shy to admit his feelings for her. So why will it not work? Here are the major reasons why:

1. Women don’t make the first move
You could wish all you want that she’d be the one to make the first move but this is unlikely to happen especially in the Philippines where girls who make the first move are branded as flirty. That’s a fact!

2. Women don’t know what’s in your mind
I used to have a female friend who likes this guy. Now this guy is also my friend and I know that he likes her too. What’s the problem? Well he’s “torpe” and couldn’t even look at the girl straight in the eye. And guess what? Nothing happened between the two of them.

3. Women hate mind games
That’s right. Women also hate mind games the way we do. They hate guessing how you feel for her in the same way that we hate guessing what she feels. You can give all the hints that you like her (e.g. touching her hand, saying sweet compliments) but this will be of no use unless you tell her exactly how you really feel.

To prove this, I’ve read somewhere over the Internet that lots of women are searching Google for the phrase “How to tell if a guy likes you”. Well wouldn’t you feel terrible if the girl you like is the one searching Google for that? Remember: it’s only you who could give her the answer so better tell her how you feel before she loses interest in you.

4. Women want confidence, not shyness
Do you ever wonder why it’s a common notion that women like bad boys? It’s because bad boys have the confidence to admit their feelings towards women without fear of being rejected or so. After all, confidence is all that it really takes. If you get rejected, get over it and move forward.

I remember MYMP’s “Torpe Song #5”. It’s really a great song that describes what a torpe guy is really like. It gives the torpe guys the ego-booster needed. Check out the lyrics here.

 

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Image credit: Moriza | License

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89 comments

Kelvs January 12, 2009 - 5:10 pm

as the saying goes No Guts!No Glory.!^^

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angelo January 12, 2009 - 10:30 pm

AMEN to that!
wala talagang mangyayari kung walang gagawin, even if you are super popular, has a nice body and very good looking. take for instance piolo pascual. 😛

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boris January 12, 2009 - 10:38 pm

when i like somebody, i make body contact 🙂

it’s easy to gain confidence, just be yourself. it depends to where you’re good at, sports, travel, games, studying, party, and the likes!

hindi sa pagmamayabang pero, i don’t have a problem with this, i have this suplado attitude that some people adore and my charisma is high hehehehe 🙂

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Jessie January 13, 2009 - 10:50 pm

shoulda, woulda, coulda ang aabutin mo kung to-torpe torpe ka.

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boris January 24, 2009 - 1:37 pm

hey chris what’s up??? chinese new year na! nasan ka na??? hehehe…

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Chris January 26, 2009 - 12:19 am

@boris/everyone – I’m back. I’ve not been around the past few days because I got a little busy.:)

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Lee29 January 26, 2009 - 1:56 pm

Well, im an exmple of this t0rpe guy.. Hmm, thanks for the tips, i h0pe i can apply it..

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Ramillav April 15, 2009 - 1:54 am

I actually hate you for being insightful, coz sometimes you write things that are so true it hurts my eyes to read them ha ha ha but, really, it’s like facing yourself in the mirror, reading you. Like,you knew it all along yourself but you get giddy admitting that it is what it is.

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Chris April 15, 2009 - 11:52 pm

Ramillav – The first part of your comment shocked me because I thought you really hated me. Haha.

Thanks for finding the article to be insightful 🙂

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Ramillav April 16, 2009 - 1:20 am

Ha ha ha. Hmm… I like to shock people before complimenting them, it sort of throws them off, otherwise they get their head expands like the universe in a big bang. Hmm. I followed your recommendations on Oxygen Static. they have this scent 11:55 which my female companion said was more fragrant…

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Chris April 19, 2009 - 11:45 pm

Yes, if you want inexpensive scents, Oxygen has one of the best.

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McC May 17, 2009 - 8:35 pm

@Angelo/all, Hey this a great site, great article Chris. Been searching the term torpe and found your site. Still confused why women comments
me on that but I believe, they just want to make papansin.

All through out my younger years. Lots of girls (many I even don’t know,especially during college years) made parinig this to me. Though sometimes even now, some still comments this.

@Chris, yes its true that generally Women don’t make the first move, but some do, some even dropping physical hints(make parining, touch you etc.)But its just me, I had been weak/complete ignoring them before but now I had aged a bit, i’m now more sensitive of these hints. Ü. hehehe.

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Chris May 18, 2009 - 12:14 am

McC – thanks for the compliment.

Hmm, I think you should stop ignoring them. They’ve given you hints so I guess it’s time for you to make your move.

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Pinoy Guy Guide » Blog Archive » Best of Pinoy Guy Guide in 2009 December 31, 2009 - 11:10 am

[…] Why being a “torpe” will never work – I remember I wrote this before Valentine’s day this year. It’s an enlightening […]

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torpe_ako February 4, 2010 - 2:22 pm

Women are pathetic! If gagawa ka ng tama then ikaw ang mali. I dunno pero I don’t understand them.. Mas gusto pa ng manyak kaysa sa matino. #4 sounds right pero wooaaahhh bakit ganun?!

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micx February 26, 2010 - 11:54 pm

Manyak kaysa matalino? Omg, that’s not true >.< matalino mas mabuti.
tsk. Ang mganda jan, torpe pero na overcome yun. Kasi minsan, kung masyadong confident ang lalaki and he seems that he has no shyness inside him, iisipin nila babaero yun.

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Pauline February 28, 2010 - 8:23 pm

Great post. This really gives me a insight.

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Pauline March 20, 2010 - 8:41 am

UGH. This reminds me of that guy whom I fell in love with. Torpe na nga, manhid padin! >:{T

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anonymous April 19, 2010 - 9:17 pm

it’s true. being a torpe doesn’t work.

but i think that if a girl likes a guy, she should tell her feelings too. it isn’t only the guy that loses out; both of them lose out.

to achieve that, we might have to change our preconceptions about women making the first move.

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einj L May 10, 2010 - 4:54 pm

being torpe is so bullshit!!!!!!!

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TikBoy May 22, 2010 - 3:55 pm

Nakakahiya mang aminin pero pagdating sa ligawan tlgang mahina ako. ive been famous for this in our campus before. Di ako gwapo di rin pangit, decent and neat look lang ako. at dahil torpe ako binabawi ko na lang umeksena sa ibang aspects like excelling in class on academics, top varsity player, and a good musician especially on vocals and accoustic instruments. If may natipuhan akong girl, paimpress lng ko to the max like asking her if she needs help in our assignments in math and physics (my favorite) or di kaya gawan ng song at kantahan to inspire her. but telling them about the feelings i had inside, naku yan ang di ko kayang gawin heheehh! TORPE kasi.

Swerte pa rin ko kahit papano, kasi napasagot ko pa rin ang limang GFs ko ng walang ligawang naganap. Di un sabay2 ha, one at a time lang. With my current relationship now, mag 6 years na kami this september.

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mark May 25, 2010 - 11:47 am

kung ma reject ako ng gusto kong girl, feeling ko masisira ang mundo ko. nakkahiya mang aminin isa akong dakilang torpe

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sendo June 19, 2010 - 1:15 am

nakakarelate…torpe haha…ok..will have this printed as a pocket guide..lol

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masta_mike July 8, 2010 - 11:53 pm

Women are easy, they always want to be loved. Haha!

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tarcie July 30, 2010 - 10:42 am

mg-23 yrs old na ako, wala p rin akng naging GF since birth..isa rin akong torpe..ewan ko bah, talagang takot lng akong ma-reject..hindi nmn ako pangit, im neat looking, i smell good, i dress up well, masaya kausap, at mabait..

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joseph August 3, 2010 - 3:32 am

ouch… is it me who you are talking about.. I agree with all you have said and probably same thing with me. I’m afraid to be rejected, hays I hope maovercome ko ung fear ko na ito para magkaGF na ako.

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Ron August 5, 2010 - 4:02 pm

nice =)..i was lookin for a men’s fashion website && got in here…ok let me share some info. women used to be just as easy as ABCs when i was in college..i had a good share of experience when it comes to dating et al campus figures..but lately i noticed without noticing it, parang i became a torpe sort of hahah..oh btw i dont court, un bang pakiramdaman lang, uhmm if u like me && i like u then so be it. let’s work for it out..ung mga ganun…

now i met this gal, she’s nice pero parang di ko masabi na gusto ko sya..para kasing naunahan ng frienship lang un purpose…hehehe…i hope maovercome ko to..i miss the one i used to be during college…

nice article though…great reminder 😀

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joyce August 11, 2010 - 8:31 am

I really don’t know why there are guys are so torpe,
I experience one of my suitor super torpe,if I will
not start to talk,he will not start to talk also….
So unpredictable……

Joyce
——–
OnePacificPlace.com.ph-Salcedo Village
Condominium at the heart of Makati CBD

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Mike R. August 17, 2010 - 4:22 am

no nuts no glory ftw! it only takes big balls to hook up with a woman.

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Juanito Pastorfide November 2, 2010 - 4:32 am

ganon talaga, hate ng babae ang torpe, ako super torpe before pero naulanan lang ako minsan nawala, if I like a girl, I simply approach her and introduce myself, after.. i’ll ask for her number then I phone her. sa kinabukasan girlfriend ko na. gnun lang ka simple. so, torpe guys, wake up! sisid agad sa malalim na balon.!

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renegadezero April 9, 2011 - 12:43 am

hehehe…salamat mga master.

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fanof1piece April 19, 2011 - 2:42 pm

hay sana, maaus ko yung pagiging torpe ko, hehe,
ntatakot lng sigurong ako na di siryosohen.

Reply
Torpe - Coach Rye June 7, 2011 - 5:35 am

[…] did a search on the Filipino term “Torpe” and came up with these: According to Pinoy Guy Guide: “torpe” is the term used to describe a guy, who is so in love with a girl but is too shy to […]

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DamianSt.James October 25, 2011 - 8:45 am

I totally agree on the last rationale, that confidence is more attractive that shyness. As for other reasons, not so much. Girls are more socially aware, kaya may insight sila on what’s in your mind, you just have to confirm it. And like what you said, Pinas is not that conserved anymore, even the girls are liberated, so it is quite possible na sila ang gumawa ng first move.

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DamianSt.James October 25, 2011 - 8:45 am

Di natin pwede igeneralize. I know a lot of torpe guys who ended up with the girls they wanted. Kahit nga kmi nagulat eh. i think it is more on kung kaya mo dalhin yun pagiging torpe. Kung nagagamit mo un pgkatorpe to be charming and adorable, awesome yun. May mga guys na ganun eh. Pero kung di bagay sayo yun pagiging torpe mo at low self-esteem lng talaga npapakita nito, then yeah, it will not work.

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Sick-of-Torpedos November 29, 2011 - 12:18 am

I’M A GIRL IN LOVE WITH A TORPe guy. You have no idea. I know that this sites are for guys only, but can you possibly write something that could help me in terms of getting to know him through that massive amount of shyness of his? I know he likes me. He imitates me endless, he pops everywhere I go, and I even catch him staring and he’d quickly look away. I love him. I know all of these are sweet, but there would be some discouraging days where he won’t acknowledge my existence at all. I’m a shy girl myself, but this is still so frustrating!

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musicman December 2, 2011 - 10:33 am

@Sick of Torpedos

Then you have to make the First move, That is what torpe guys are waiting for, not unless you are a torpe girl yourself, yes torpe exist on girls as well.

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musicman December 6, 2011 - 7:53 am

Here is a tip for Torpe:

Like a torpe, it took me to be 33 years old to have my first gf.
Tama walang mangyayari sa torpe, ok lang yan dahil the more ka nag dudusa sa kalungkutan at kahinaan ng loob the more ka tumatapang, kung hindi mo kaya mag confess ng nararamdaman mo e di mag dusa ka hintay ka ulit ilang taon, bumalik ka nalang sa hide out mong comfort zone at mas tumatanda ka masnagiging mahirap tiisin ang emotion.

Ang gawin mo, pag nag pakita ng motibo ang babae, idaan mo sa sulat, isulat mo lahat ng gusto mo sabihin at ibigay sa kanya ng deretsa sabay takbo ka na paalis, at hintayin mo ang reply niya via txt, sulat din o salita, pag ok, tapos na hindi ka na torpe mawawala na yun.

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TorpeGuy#X March 3, 2012 - 10:27 pm

i will never have a girlfriend with my personality. I’m 100% torpe, i’m a college student and no gf since birth. I guess i have to look something else where i can enjoy myself without having a romantic relationship.

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Chris March 4, 2012 - 12:05 am

TorpeGuy#X – Do not lose hope, you are still young and I am sure you have plenty of chances to meet women especially in college. The trick is, even if you are the shy type, you need to force yourself to interact with as many women as possible. Sooner or later you will overcome that shyness and you’ll find a girl who is looking for a guy just like you.

Good Luck!

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Engr. Torpe March 10, 2012 - 1:23 am

I’m torpe.. I had my first girlfriend when i was in high school. Kung hindi nga lang sinabi ng girl na she likes me baka hindi ko pa siya niligawan and hindi naging kami. Yung mga sumunod puro rejection na ang natanggap ko kaya hindi na ako nagka-gf since then. Parang nagka-phoebia ako sa mga rejections na yun dahil di rin naman ako kagwapuhan, neat looking, talino and bait lang ang pwede kong ipagmalaki. Aaminin ko masakit para sa akin yung mga rejections na yun.

Now, There’s this girl whom i really like pero di ko masabi. Hindi ko maalis sa isip ko na baka hindi ako pumasa sa standard niya. Sa ngayon i just get contented with just staring at her facebook photos.. Pero habang tumatagal, mas lalo ko lang siyang minamahal. Mabait siya eh kaya natatakot ako na baka namimis-interpret ko lang yung kindness niya sa akin. Sa facebook lang kami madalas mag-usap. Nasa abroad ako, sa pinas siya. Hindi ko alam, ang hirap talaga..

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Chris March 22, 2012 - 2:09 am

Engr. Torpe – why don’t you tell her? Go get her. Good luck!

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Sick-of-Torpedos April 16, 2012 - 9:15 pm

Engr. Torpe

Just sent you an e-mail. My story. Wish I could give you an advice if I have the time. My dad’s really mad. I have to go to the dining table! Sorry! Bawi na lang me nxt tme!

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Shy•type May 5, 2012 - 8:20 pm

I don’t know what to do. Pano ko ba sasabihin sa kanya na gusto ko sya? Naging classmate kona sya pero sa sobrang hiya ko hindi ko maiwasan na lumayo lalo,yan tuloy andaming nasayang na panahon.Hindi ko na sya classmate ngayun sa hallway nalangkami nagkikita. Hindi man lang makapag hi sakanya.nakakahiya naman sakin,dati close kami pero nawala yun dahil sakin SNOB ko kasi sa sobrang hiya ko sakanya.I need your advise.

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Chris May 5, 2012 - 8:45 pm

Shy•type – first, ask for her number. text and call her. invite her for coffee. hangout. pag at ease na kayo sa isa’t isa, tell her. who knows she might like you too. don’t waste time and chances. good luck man.

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Shy•type May 5, 2012 - 9:07 pm

But eto ang problem nag ttry ako lumapit pero hindi ko kaya.. Dko kasi alam ugali nya eh pero alam ko she’s a good person.dito po kasi sa US

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Harris October 10, 2012 - 12:43 am

naranasan ko din to , and totally wala talagang nangyari. that’s when I was in my first year college, and i was love strucked by a chinita girl. buti na lang di ko pinagpatuloy, may bf na pala yung crush ko. hahahh

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Rey November 18, 2012 - 12:31 pm

Naalala ko nung nasa Manila ako year 2001 may natipuhan along babae kaput malapit Lang ang Bahay nila sa tinirhan ko ewan ko nahihiya talaga ako pag nakkita ko sya pero lagi ko sya in aasar Minsan nga naiinis un sa akin eh. Lol. Ang sarap kc asarin . Dahil isip bata nga Kung sabagay bata pa kc un NASA 14 anyos Lang ako naman NASA 19 diba ang laki ng age gap ko sa kanya . Hanggang sa lagi na kami tinutukso ng mga Kaibigan ko at ng mga Kaibigan Nya sue more dyahe
Nga naman . At dumating sa point na parang lumalalim
Ang pagtingin ko sa kanya at feeling ko gusto rin Nya ako Hanggang sa nag iiwasan na kami Minsan nga gusto ko syang kausapin di ko naman sya nakausap Dahil nga nag a alangan nga ako Dahil din sa bata pa sya . Or nag a alangan din me Dahil mukha akong adik lol kc sa Amin ala astig kc me Kung mag lamas pero torpe
Pag dating sa kanya ang Hirap . Hanggang sa lumipat na sila ng Bahay at nakagraduate na sya ng highschool di ko parin nasabi pero malapit Lang
Naman ung nilipatan nila hai buhay nga naman sa
Totoo Lang sa kanya Lang ako na torpe . At dumating din na
Nag Dadadalaga na sya nag iiba na awra Nya di tulad
Parang neneng nene pa at un dumating sa point na
Nalaman ko na bf na sya lalo talaga ng Hinayang ang Hirap ng ganun
Lol dami ko ng kuwento lol at Hanggang sa nakapag abroad sya at umuwi ng pinas
pero ok narin at least masaya na ako sa
Kanya at masaya na sya ngayon sa kanyang
Asawa na foreigner at ako naman heto
Lonely boy parin. Kaya kaung mga
Torpe huwag ng patagalin
Pa Baka may again pa Kau ng iba

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Jomar Lipon January 9, 2013 - 10:58 am

Masasabi ko lang. May mawawala sayo if may hiya XD proven and tested ko na.

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The Nice Guy Syndrome, The Friendzone, and Everything In Between | Coffee and Keystrokes January 31, 2013 - 10:40 pm

[…] But if you’re one of those guys who do nothing, then we’ve come to that Filipino word I mentioned above: torpe. I can’t find an English translation for this word, for some reason. I can’t say it means ‘shy’, but that’s the closest. A person who is torpe will do absolutely nothing to change his situation. A torpe isn’t necessarily a friend, but he likes or is already in love with this one girl but he won’t do anything about it. He’ll just sit back and watch as everyone else fawns over the girl he likes. For a more detailed description of torpe guys and why being torpe will never work, here’s a post by the Pinoy Guy Guide. […]

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Sniper May 31, 2013 - 8:45 pm

FOR GIRLS: WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR PRINCE “TORPE”

First you have to accept that a torpe is a torpe and he will remain so if he is charactereologically so as an individual. But if you’re serious about your torpe because you think he’s one in a billion, there are ways to connect with him and angle for a stronger link with him without losing your integrity as a “dalagang Filipina” (kuno, hahaha!). Ok, ok! This is the Philippines, I know, but still, you might want to give this approach a try. Remember that boys, even the big ones, love to play, including the torps. So, play with them if you want them to talk to you. The goal is to get them to see your value as someone worth chasing. But before you run away, ensure that you have his attention and you had displayed (without boasting) your social worth (meaning, being an object of peers’ respect for your talent, intelligence, skills, sense of humor, sense of fashion, etc.). That’s a good way to stir up a torp’s chase instinct. Now, suppose, for instance, your torp is wearing an earring. Begin with a comment that will get you to engage him in a playful dialogue. Say this with a smile for intro: “Cooool! Is that your little sister’s earring? It looks good on you!” This would unsettle your torp because it’s half compliment and half little insult. (You don’t want to give a pure compliment ‘cause that will make him think you’re chasing him.) A torp or any boy would normally smile or laugh and try to get even with you by reciprocating your manner of treating him. If your torp however is sluggish, he may defend first himself and if he will do so, keep pushing him until he tries to get back at you by teasing you. The goal of the teasing is to open some doors for a knowing-each other talk. But be as playful as possible even if you’re getting a wee bit deeper with him. If you could carry the opening approach well, you know where you’re heading. Once he sees and appreciates your worth, make yourself scarce or run away. It’s time to get even. Let him run after you.

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Sniper May 31, 2013 - 8:57 pm

FOR: THOSE WHO CALL THEMSELVES TORPE

Well, “untorpe” yourself. Of course you can’t overhaul yourself within the span of one day, but come on, appreciate your girl in a teasing fashion. It won’t hurt. Read my preceding comment. Chances are you’ll make her laugh. But if she’s not open to this, just walk away in a gentlemanly way. Say before you leave, “Nice talking to you.” Nothing is lost. Guys are too outnumbered by girls nowadays, even in the colleges of engineering.

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Coco July 4, 2013 - 9:27 pm

Nice guide. Pero paano kung yung guy 4mths palang kayo magkakilala at nakilala mo lang sya thru common friend sa fb at di pa kayo formally meet inaaya ka ng pakasal. Nasa Phils yung guy at nasa abroad yung girl. Ano sa tingin nyo motibo nung guy? Seryoso ba sya or user friendly lang? Thanks.

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Chris July 5, 2013 - 7:04 am

Coco – are you a girl? welcome to PGG.

Ang weird lang if someone who has never met you in person asks you to marry him.

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kisapmata July 5, 2013 - 9:32 pm

dati hindi ako torpe.. ngayon sobrang torpe na bakit ganun. hindi ko tuloy mapormahan yung pinaka-gusto kong babae.. dinadaga lagi ako. tips naman po mga boss.. ano magandang first move hehe

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Coco July 5, 2013 - 10:10 pm

Thanks Chris. Yes im a girl. We have age gap. Im old enough to get married since nasa early 30’s ako and sya naman nasa 20’s nya he told me he wanted to get married na kasi mahilig daw sya sa bata and gusto nyang magabroad. kaya lang parang hindi naman sya nanliligaw. Kilala sya sa pagiging torpe. Ano sa tingin mo ang motibo nya. Player maybe? Sorry out of topic na ata ako. But just wanted to get a guys opinion. I’m so confused not sure if i should entertain him or forget him nalang.

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Chris July 6, 2013 - 2:19 pm

kisapmata – something could have triggered your being torpe. maybe matagal kang nawala sa dating scene.

here is what I suggest: go around and meet new people. participate and volunteer in as many events as you can in order to meet girls and get more used to talking to them.

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Chris July 6, 2013 - 2:22 pm

Coco – I suggest you invite him for coffee and meet in person. How would you know that the attraction is there if you have not met each other yet?

People you meet online are soooooooooooooooo different than they really are in person.

Is there anything stopping you from meeting him face to face?

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kisapmata July 7, 2013 - 8:57 am

something could have triggered your being torpe. maybe matagal kang nawala sa dating scene. <<tama to, galing mo sir chris! hehe bukas na bukas kakausapin ko na sya. malaking tulong to salamat salamat

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Coco July 8, 2013 - 10:58 pm

You know Chris you are definitely right! Distance is stopping me to meet him in person. I ‘ll probably tell him if he can’t wait to meet me in person then i guess his not the right one. Thanks for the advise and more power on your site!

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Chris July 9, 2013 - 12:36 pm

kisapmata – you’re welcome. good luck man. sabihan mo ko what happened hehe 🙂

Coco – no problem. let us know how it goes for you.

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kisapmata November 10, 2013 - 2:51 pm

Chris> sorry late rep. naka usap ko na yung girl at niligawan ko. pero hindi ko na tinuloy kasi hindi ko gusto yung ugali. pero salamat ng marami sa payo mo boss super effective e. hehe

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Peyton Manning orange jersey December 29, 2013 - 4:51 pm

I kind of saw the defense, how they were playing, and we were at what, the inch line?” Gore explained. “And the (linebackers) were playing like 5 yards back. I knew it was a quick hit, and I know I quick-hitted it. I barreled through.

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jcl March 22, 2014 - 11:30 am

I would like to ask, what if this girl that i like is a doctor and she seems to be very busy, very successful and replies less to my messages. What should i do?

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Chris March 25, 2014 - 1:14 am

JCL – A girl has got to be interested in “dating” in the first place. Did she ever had a boyfriend?

If she never had or doesn’t want to why bother? You can’t sell a product to someone who doesn’t want to buy something.

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david April 7, 2014 - 8:20 am

you hesitate you masturbate – simplepickup

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Chris April 14, 2014 - 1:02 am

David – that’s funny. if someone says that, i hope he doesn’t get slapped. LOL.

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skye April 21, 2014 - 5:12 am

Omg…i love ur blogs na…very interesting topics…VERY TRUE, as in especially with no.3…phulaan b kmi kung gsto mo kmi??…ive fallen for this guy for 2yrs, i felt like he’s giving me signs that he likes me pero he’s never verbal…i can still remember searching thru google “signs a shy guy likes u”, hehe…2yrs tgal nmn nun…npagod n ko kkhintay ngfocus n lng ako s iba manliligaw…and then ngtapat n din cia, kung kelan nmn we’re both taken na…hahaha…i wasted 2 damn years waiting for u…ayoko na ng torpe since then…kya nga kyo lalake to make d first move…wag nio n kmi phulain…ang ending tuloi, play with d players n lng, joke…i mean i’ll go for d confident guy than d shy ones, pputi buhok nmin kkhintay kung gnyan kyo kbagal…joke…

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Chris April 21, 2014 - 8:10 pm

Skye, thank u. My advice for girls: kapag torpe at pakiramdam mo type ka, ikaw na ang umamin. Ganun lang yun para hindi masayang pagkakataon hehe. 🙂

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skye April 21, 2014 - 10:31 pm

chris…hnde gnun kdali umamin s guy…kng takot ang torpe lalake s rejection…edi lalo n kmi girls…or maybe it’s not a good match kc shy guy meets shy girl…nde ko nga alam bkit sobra torpe nia,eh nsa callcenter world kmi, sobra liberated ng mundong ginagalawan nmin, pero muka prehas npagiwanan kmi ng pnahon….nun umamin cia tpos prehas n kmi taken…all we have is regrets…damn regrets…i felt like i was his sacrificial lamb…kc ok lng n ako msaktan kya hnde cia umaamin b4…mhirap nmn din mtagged n assuming kmi girls, we need verbal confirmation pra hnde kmi muka assuming or feeling mxado…eniweis part of d past…ayoko n ulet mnghula or mkiramdam lng… or waste yearsss of my life again…maybe shy girls eh mas bagay s mga confident guys…hehe..thanx thanx..hope ul do more blogs, im really excited to read them, i love guy topics kc…thanx thanx..

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Chris April 22, 2014 - 5:28 pm

Skye – I understand. But in my opinion, it is better to at least try it even if you don’t succeed. Sayang kasi yung chance kapag talagang gusto mo yung tao.

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AnnalizingTorpe September 30, 2014 - 12:34 am

Understanding a torpe is really hard. But somehow, I think I got an answer about it. I think, if you really like/love a person, you will do everything not to lose her. If you don’t, maybe you don’t just love her enough to sacrifice your ego or lose face. Love is doing everything and not being selfish. If you got tons of excuses, maybe you’re not just that sure about her. That’s just what I think.

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TORPE4EVER March 19, 2015 - 8:44 pm

Thanks for this Post. Kahit na ilang beses ko na nabasa mga tips na ganito to sa ibang site hndi parin ako magkalakas na kausapin sya. Nasasabi ko lang mga gusto kong sabihin sa kanya sa chat pro in person like pag nagkakasalubong na kmi sobrang tiklop ako and can’t even look to her eyes. Pakiramdam ko mahal ko na sya pro wla akong magawa.. Haay, mamamatay na yata akong torpe..lol

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Joshua April 5, 2015 - 1:31 am

May crush po ako pero gusto ng babae na gusto ko syang kausapin pero kapag katabi ko na di ko alam sasabihin ko gusto nya ko pero ako lang ang di makalapit hay torpe nga naman hanggang tingin na lang ba sa kanya

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TorPEngPEPE May 12, 2015 - 10:29 pm

HELLO!

Guys. Seriously, magsisi tayo kung di natin tatapangan sarili natin.
.
Nagka gf ako pero walang nangyaring ligawan. At yeah. Torpe pa rin ako khit n0w. 2ndyr c0llege

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Shattered Dreams December 10, 2015 - 4:26 pm

Hanggang tingin nlang tayo ~0~

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Chris December 11, 2015 - 2:53 pm

Shattered Dreams – hindi pa huli lahat. Ask her out on a date.

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mr.x December 31, 2015 - 9:46 pm

If u have to tell someone how u feel.. U aren’t feeling enough….

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Chris January 1, 2016 - 2:49 am

@mr.x hi welcome to PGG. I think you should both say and show someone how you feel. Theybare both important.

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ebenezer January 30, 2016 - 7:57 pm

Oh my god. office mate ko yung gustong gusto ko.. hindi ko padin masabi. parang may bumabara sa bibig ko pag gusto kong mag tapat ng feelings ko..
Andaming opportunities pa naman na ang lumipas.. madalas kaming dalawa lang natitira sa office.. tapos madalas sabayh pa kami kumain sa labas. feeling ko sasabog na ulo ko.. nahihirapan nadin ako matulog! everytime na wasted opportunity parang masisiraan na ako ng bait.

Ngaun parang iwas na tuloy sya sakin.. ayaw na nyang sumama pag inaaya ko sa kumain sa labas.

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Chris January 31, 2016 - 9:19 am

Ebenezer – here’s what you do. Ask her: are you seeing someone special? If she does not have a boyfriend yet, don’t wait before it’s too late. Just tell her you like her. Nothing to lose.

If you tell her you like her and she doesn’t reciprocate, then stop seeing her for a while and stop the communication. Find out if she’ll miss you. If she calls/texts first then it means she has feelings for you. If not, well bro, move on.

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Ebenezer January 31, 2016 - 10:08 pm

Thanks for the advice chris. I actually confessed my feelings yesterday right after I’ve posted my comment. (Turn out I just needed to vent my frustration). Took me a lot of courage and fake confidence to tell her how I feel. But she rejected me. She told me she doesn’t have any boyfriend or seeing someone but she still got feelings for her ex even though they got separated years ago. It really hurts.. It’s sad. She is the very first person that I confessed my feelings in my whole life since I was ngsb.
She probably doesn’t have the slightest feeling for me since I told her that I’m willing to wait and i even ask her if she can consider me if she lost her feelings for her ex. She just told me to go find another girl to love..

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Chris February 1, 2016 - 10:23 pm

Ebenezer – first of all, congratulations at nasabi mo na. It takes courage for torpe guys to say it and now that you’ve done it, regardless of the outcome, you still win, because you can apply the same trick to other girls.

Even if she rejected you, there’s no need to be hurt. It’s nothing personal. Like she said, di pa sya over sa ex nya, so ok lang yun since ayaw mo rin naman maging rebound diba?

Best thing to do? Slowly detach yourself from her. Stop all communication. Then see what happens. Pag walang effect sa kanya, then dude, move on. Plenty more girls out there.

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. March 15, 2016 - 7:02 pm

Umamin na ko sakanya. Kaso parang nagkaalanganin kami. Nung inamin ko sakanya nakangiti lang siya at bigla siyang lumiko. Inaasar kaming dalawa pero hindi parin ako sure kung may gusto ba siya sakin kasi nung inamin ko na sakanya wala siyang sagot nakangiti lang at biglang lumiko na, ewan ko kung paka nabigla lang siya. May gusto ba siya saakin? Mahal ko na siya for about 1 year. Pinaplano ko ulit kausapin siya pero parang naduduwag nanaman ako. Kaya lang ako napaamin dahil pinagtulakan lang ako ng friends ko.

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Chris March 16, 2016 - 2:33 pm

^^^ bro, congratulations. Based from your story na ngumiti sya, it looks like may gusto sya sayo. Nakausap mo na ba sya ulit?

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Miss A May 15, 2016 - 6:00 pm

I have this huge crush on a torpe (infact I think I’m starting to fall inlove with him).. At first I don’t really like his personality, mahilig kasi mang asar, but gradually my perception of him changed.. Mabait pala sya, especially pag kami lng dalawa, he becomes a totally different person. Parang ang close namin..All our co workers say na may gusto sya sa akin, they always tease him lalo na yung mga kasamahan nyang mga boys. Pero hnd pa rin sya nagtatapat, kahit ilang beses na kami nagkakaroon ng moment na kami lng dalawa. Aminado din naman syang torpe sya. Ngayon inilipat na sya sa ibang lugar, nagtetext din nmn sya kaso minsan lng, lagi na lng sabi nia ay busy sya. May gusto kaya sya sa akin? o assuming lng ako? nkakainis naman yang mga mixed signals ng mga boys.

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Chris May 17, 2016 - 10:20 pm

Miss A – sorry to hear. Pero I think it’s about time for you to make the move. Ask him if he is seeing anyone special and see how it goes from there. Good luck!

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Mike April 24, 2017 - 8:53 pm

HI Chris,

Meron akong nakakasabay na stranger pauwi same building kami, same ng sinasakyan (minsan) though hirap na hirap akong iapproach siya.

I tried somethings pero natatameme ako pag andiyan na. I not used to talking like this and also introvert ako. I really want to know her.

Any tips on how to start a small talks? Usually 5mins walk lang ang meron ako. If I’m lucky magkasabay kami sa elevator couple of minutes more.

I think if I’m not going to step up I might lose all my chances.

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Chris April 26, 2017 - 3:17 pm

hi Mike! welcome to PGG.

Ang advice ko sayo, don’t overthink. Next time makasabay mo sya or makatabi mo sya, say something like this:

“Hi, saang company kayo? Parang madalas ko kayo nakakasabay.” (make sure to smile)

Then from there, pakilala ka na… I’m Mike etc.. And you are?

Check mo lang kung open sya. Pag nakipagusap, good sign! Kung feeling mo comfortable sya, ask for her number.

A couple of minutes na nagkakasabay kayo is not bad. Kaya ACT FAST! I always tell guys that if have been dwelling for more than five minutes on what to say to a woman, it means that you are overthinking the whole thing and chances are, when the time of the actual meet-up or conversation comes, you will end up doing and saying the wrong things.

So, wag mag overthink. Mag hi ka lang and see how it goes from there.

Good luck. Tell me how it goes.

Cheers,
Chris

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